Do you want a vegetable-free diet? Try all new ‘PorQu’

The UK’s finest Vegetable substitute

Are you having trouble convincing your children to eat their vegetables? Are you a carnivore that struggles to get your recommended daily amount of meat? Are you just looking for a way to improve your evening meal? Then why not try PorQu.

What is PorQu?

PorQu chick peas can be used for meaty Hummous or sweet and sour chicken balls

Made from only the finest British meats, PorQu is the UK’s highest quality ‘vegetable substitute’. PorQu allows you to remove all of you 5-a-day in one ‘foul’ swoop, and our growing range means you can do it in style. Our ‘chick peas’ look and taste just like real chickpeas but the chicken recipe used means it contains as much protein as a Little Chef ‘Olympic breakfast’.

What if I don’t like chickpeas?

PorQu Beef Tomato made from the finest Aberdeen Angus

No problem, our vegetable substitute experts have developed a range of products so you can have a completely meat-filled diet. All of our meats have added colours and flavourings of vegetables, without the health benefits. You can now garnish your burger with some goat-meat gherkins, lamb lettuce and our patented beef tomatoes.

Fact: PorQu can prevent you becoming a hippy

Recent studies have shown that a vegetable only diet can lead to the onset of hippiness, but by changing just one portion of veg a week to PorQu you can decrease the chances of developing vegetarianism.

An offal a day keeps the doctor away.

In a survey, 8 out of 10 cats preferred PorQu Kidney Kiwis

PorQu isn’t just about vegetables, we do faux-fruit as well. If you fancy a healthy fruit snack but not a vitamin C boost then our offal orange is just what you need. But it doesn’t stop there. You can fill your fruit bowl with pork pears, beefy bananas and kidney kiwis.

So #makeonechange to PorQu.

With the strategic use of a hashtag, we want you to promote our product for free. Just #makeonechange from veg to PorQu and tell your friends about it, because they will love nothing more than seeing a picture of your food before you eat it.

Hat-tip to Zoe Perks