African village adopts Angelina Jolie’s breasts

safe and sound

safe and sound

Support for Angelina Jolie after her double mastectomy has reached all corners of the globe with the news that the Angolan village of Malu has agreed to adopt her breasts.

Malu village chief Oongal Weel said that while the circumstances of Jolie’s breasts becoming orphaned were tragic, he was confident they would be well looked after in the village.

“The local women have vowed to treat them as they would their own” said Mr Weel. “Even a number of men have expressed an interest in caring for them.”

The move has sparked controversy, with psychologists saying that while the move was well meaning, there could be long-term issues in integrating breasts of a white, global superstar into a very poor African village.

Despite these concerns, other African villages are jumping on the celebrity body part adoption bandwagon.

Clona, in Somalia, has obtained a collection of Madonna’s nail clippings and intimate body hair. The Rwandan village of Kasor successfully adopted David Cameron’s forehead, which not only entertained the local children, but provided a runway for drought relief planes to land on.

But not all celebrity body part adoptions have ended so well. The small town of Ceesay, in Nigeria, adopted all of Jeremy Clarkson, on Britain’s insistence. But after having to listen to Clarkson for two weeks, they desperately tried to return him.

“We must have sent a million emails offering $2,000,000 to anyone who will take him back, but we have had no replies” remarked Ceesay Mayor Abon Lattice. “We think we have been scammed”.

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