Chris Huhne seeks return to public ‘funded’ life
Chris Grayling has announced reforms to prison privalidges that will see prisoners having to earn the right to Sky TV, full access to their money, and viewig DVDs rates 18.
This has seen disgraced ex-MP Chris Huhne appeal for early release to try and become a parliamentarian again.
“Being here is like being a member of parliament” Mr Huhne told us in his new found truthful manner.
“Accommodation, Sky subscription and free porn all funded by the tax payer make things quite pleasant and homely. But now we may have to actually work for those rights, I have no other option than to return Westminster.”
Mr Huhne has been very vocal in his criticism for the proposed reforms to privaledges for male prisoners. “I had been prepared to try and bullshit my way through a trial in an attempt to retain my perfect reputation. But I decided to do the honest thing when I got a text message from my son saying that I could get all the things I was used to, all paid for and all without having to make up the paper work.”
There is no surprise that he is so desperate to return to a paid for existence as he does have a history of ensuring the public subsidise every aspect of his life. During his time as a member of parliament, Mr Huhne claimed over £5,000 to paint his fence, £119 for a Corby trouser press and submitted a 14p bill for stationary. However, to date his most outrageous claim was that he wasn’t driving a speeding car.
If successful in his appeal, Mr Huhne has said he would like to get back with his ex-wife Vicky Pryce. “I will have my tax payer funded TV and House, but I will miss one part of prison life. Being back with Vicky will ensure I get screwed regularly”.
You must be logged in to post a comment.