Following the news that Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill were asked to lose weight to reprise their roles in the new Star Wars movie, evil space gangster Jabba the Hutt has claimed that he too was pressured to slim down.
“The producers called my agent,” Mr the Hutt revealed today, “And they explained that they were very keen to have my character return, but they’d kind of imagined a much thinner version.”
“Well, I wasn’t happy, but what am I going to do? It’s not like I’m going to let anyone else play Jabba, is it? They had me over a barrel.”
“I know aliens shouldn’t be judged by their size, but to be fair, I am an enormous flabby monster the size of a small planet.”
“3,500 pounds, I had to lose. They might as well have told me to get nicer, because that’s how tough it was.”
Jabba revealed that a strenuous programme of jogging and pilates eventually helped shed that disgusting alien flab, along with a strict diet. Continue reading