A man sitting in the offices of an undisclosed local newspaper is a manky, filthy tramp-pig, according to unnamed sources.
Accused of burping, sniffing and farting simultaneously and harvesting nose hair with his fingers, the alleged oaf also eats cake for breakfast, it can be revealed.
“Although these activities aren’t illegal, some working at the newspaper think they should be”, said one employee. “Especially those who sit within range of his spittle.”
Virgo 10 years ago, 2 years ago and an artist’s impression of what he will look like next year
The BBC has revealed today that the ever more shabby appearance of presenter John Virgo is due to the snooker commentator having been spending most of his time living under a bridge over the last year.
“John’s appearance was never the smartest even during his playing days, where the waistcoat was always offset by the beard, but we had become increasingly concerned over the last couple of years as he deteriorated ever further. So we approached him a few months ago to ensure that everything was ok.” confirmed a spokesman for the BBC, Continue reading