Ed Miliband has slammed the leader of the Labour Party’s ability to challenge the prime minister, and wants lollipop ladies and ironmongers to have a go.
Standing in front of a mirror and trying to sound normal, Miliband insisted that the time was right for David Cameron to face up to someone more realistic.
“Reason for change, time for change, a new dawn”, wittered Miliband. “Sustainability, communities, fewer red tape.”
An interpreter for Miliband explained that people are turned off by modern politicians, specifically Ed Miliband, David Cameron and Nick Clegg.
“But even more specifically, Ed Miliband”, said Ed Miliband’s spokesman. “The answer is to keep him on, but get someone else to do the work.”