In a surprise turn of events, a dinner service from Tesco has been delivered in nearly 50 porcine rectums.
Normally, excess packaging wouldn’t warrant widespread reporting, but the porky bumhole nature of these parcels brought them to everyone’s attention.
London couple David and Samantha Cameron ordered the plates and slightly smaller plates from the low-budget supermarket, in an attempt to woo working class guests.
“When the little lorry turned up, I was quite surprised to find a side plate wrapped in a still-warm colon”, said Samantha. “But I thought to myself ‘I suppose this is what happens if you don’t order from Selfridges’, and carried on unwrapping.”
It fell off the roof so we thought we’d find a use for it. Not sure what happened to the fork, sorry about that.
The general public has finally grown tired of having food served to them on a chopping board, or what looks suspiciously like a roof tile, and have pleaded with restaurants to get over whatever issue they have with plates and start using them again.
The last restaurant to serve a main course on traditional crockery did so in 2011 and since then it has been wooden blocks and building materials all the way. Customers are now pointing out that plates, specifically designed for serving food on, complete with handy curvature to stop the food falling off, do the job perfectly well. Some in the restaurant business are not convinced though. Continue reading
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