Still sucking it in until Match of the Day this evening
With the end of a 5 month fast in sight, Match of the Day presenter Gary Lineker is keen to start eating properly again.
After presenting a segment of tonight’s MotD in his pants, Lineker will finally relax his abdominal muscles for the first time since Easter and has taken the sensible precaution of lining them with two layers of Tena for Men.
A local scientist has said he has possibly found a way to make Harold the UK’s first carbon-neutral village.
Using patented ‘testi-scratch energy capture’ technology he believes he can harness the energy created by men scratching themselves on the sofa and use it to heat and power homes around Harold.
Filed under News, science