These aren’t the brown paper packages tied up with string you’re looking for…
Movie-goers were left disgusted today after the long-awaited new Star Wars movie turned out to be, in fact, a musical.
This news story could go on to cleverly explain how this disaster could have come about, but we all know that what we’re really here for is the list of songs.
So (gulp) here we go, then:
“Send in the Clones”
“Han’s up, baby, Han’s up!”
“Don’t cry for me, Grand Moff Tarkin”
“Summer Jedi Knights”
“Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini!”
“Don’t Luke back in anger”
“Ewok Around the Clock”
“Yoda one that I want”
All dead now: Evans wonders ‘is the Sound of Music happy now?’
Following the sad news that 99 year-old Maria Von Trapp has finally succumbed to The Sound of Music, health experts have called for a ban on all musicals.
Maria Von Trapp was the subject of a film about the nazi occupation of Austria, a film that would regularly and inexplicably burst into song. This not only threatened the lives of everyone that was associated with the production with its intolerable levels of irritation, but also won it the title ‘Worst War Movie of All Time’.