Dismay as new Star Wars movie turns out to be musical


These aren’t the brown paper packages tied up with string you’re looking for…

Movie-goers were left disgusted today after the long-awaited new Star Wars movie turned out to be, in fact, a musical.

This news story could go on to cleverly explain how this disaster could have come about, but we all know that what we’re really here for is the list of songs.

So (gulp) here we go, then:

“Send in the Clones”
“Han’s up, baby, Han’s up!”
“Don’t cry for me, Grand Moff Tarkin”
“Summer Jedi Knights”
“Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Golden Metal Slave Bikini!”
“Don’t Luke back in anger”
“Ewok Around the Clock”
“Yoda one that I want”

Anything by Obi Wan Direction
“It’s all about the (Rebel) bass”
“In a Jabba da vida”
“The First Time Ever I Saw Your Force”
“You’re the Obi-Wan that I want”
“D-I-V-O-R-C-E” is strong in this one
“Annekin you can do I can do better”
“R2 lonesome tonight?”
“Makin’ Wookie”
“Chim Chim Cher-e3po”
A cover of Derek and the Dominoes – “Leia”
The old Robbie Williams favourite, “Millennium (Falcon)”

and not forgetting the old favourite:

“Is this the Vader Amarillo?”

The comments are open for business on our Facebook page, fill your boots, readers…

UPDATE: And here are some of the fine ideas from our favourite Haroldites, plucked freshly from Facebook:
“Womp rat in, sit right down…”
“The phantom (menace) of the opera”
“I wanna hold your Han”
“Video killed the death star”
“I bet you luke good on the dancefloor”
“Feeling hutt hutt hutt”
“Looking for love in Alderaan Places”
“The Darth Side of the Moon”
“Love in an EleVader”
“You still haven’t found the droids you’re looking for” by R2U2
“Vader you want to make those eyes at me for “
“Ridin’ Solo” by Jason Derulo
“Alderaan the World”
“Hoth in the City”
“The Alliance sleeps tonight”

And a personal favourite – “Sixty-four When am I” (Yoda remix)

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