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Fumes of Mordor not technically ‘weather’


Sod the red sky at night bollocks, what about his gorgeous hair?

Harold’s new weatherman, Nicholas Legolas, has been fired after viewers complained about his “overly dramatic” style.

The handsome blonde, thought to have been employed for his good looks and piercing eyes, often adopted a portentous tone when delivering reports on Harold’s latest meteorological activities.

“He is a lovely looking lad” said Doris Kettle, “with hair like a Pantene advert, mine were never that shiny, not even when I were young. But I don’t need to know about the fumes of Mordor of a morning, I just want to know if I can put me delicates on the line to dry.”

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