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‘Monster’ sprouts ‘basically small cabbages’


If you chop them finely, they take up less room in the bin.

Suppliers responsible for this year’s ‘monster’ sprouts have denied that they’re actually disappointing little cabbages.

“People buy sprouts out of a sense of nostalgia, or to please the Baby Jesus”, explained Harold’s Phil Evans. “And until now, they’ve been the main reason Bedfordshire exists.”

Despite their wretched taste and ability to put a downer on even a sausage wrapped in bacon, millions of households across Britain did their duty, and bought the spiteful little vegetables every Christmas.
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