Police made its first contribution to Operation Yewtree by arresting a stand of Yew trees overlooking the children’s playground at Harold Common. Some of the arrested trees are believed to have been leering at young children for more than 500 years.
PC Anita Flegg confirmed the arrest of the Yew trees, and said it was shocking that they had got away with their perverted behaviour for so long.
“I think we all got complacent – all we saw was a stand of attractive conifers that not only provided shade for the playground, but were doing their bit for the environment by converting life-threatening carbon monoxide into the air that we breathe. But all that good work counts for nothing when you consider how the trees stared at the children while their trunks grew harder and ever more erect.”