A rampant future king of England has destroyed 85% of Hitchin, after the town was given to him as a birthday present.
No sooner had George, 12 months, been given the freedom of the city, than he began his destructive first steps through the shopping centre.
“Obviously we’re delighted that the royals took the time to visit”, said Hitchin’s half-crushed mayor, Derek Hopper. “But they could have warned us that their first-born had been gaining weight and height quite so…healthily.”
“Part of me wishes they’d blessed Luton with their presence instead.”