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Harold couple to step back from being 60 millionth in line to the throne

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A Harold woman and her imaginary partner have become the latest in a lengthening line of royal dropouts.


“We shall be working towards financial independence, apart from a small amount of Pension Credit and Housing Benefit,” said a statement on behalf of Doris Kettle (72) and her late husband.


“One’s time shall be split between the park and the care home,” Doris told the Evening Harold, adding “this will not impact upon one’s personal carbon footprint, before you ask.”


The move threw Royal Researchers a massive googly as they tried to keep the National Sequence of Succession website up to date.


“The last thing we need is a spate of copycat abdications,” said one royal commentator, while others are questioning whether ‘stepping down’ is an actual constitutional option available to common people.


Nevertheless, comrade Corbyn, who twice narrowly missed out on becoming Prime Minister, is now one step closer to becoming King.

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