Nigel Garage, the formerly French-sounding leader of UKIP, has been explaining to the press why he changed his name by deed poll.
Waving a little Union Flag and talking in cockney, Garage (now pronounced ‘garridge’) claimed that he was broadening his appeal to the sort of low-thinking, closet racist who won’t eat lasagne because it ‘sounds too foreign’.
“It always infuriated me that people in UK call centres had to ask me how I spelled my name”, said Garage. “But so far, they’ve had no problem with the new one. And I have to say, it does seem to be a rather apt choice. The last chap I spoke to said he ‘could just imagine driving his car into me’.”