‘Irony’ is when mum presses my t-shirt
Scores of balaclava-clad English Defence League (“EDL”) supporters converged in Harold town centre overnight to protest against Muslims wearing veils.
“Them Muslims should be banned from wearing veils – they shouldn’t be allowed to hide their faces” said Gavin, an EDL supporter who wouldn’t give his last name.
“Muslims go home – England for the Polish” shouted Jerzey “Smith”, a carpenter from Essex.
Other EDL members just tried to stare threateningly but soon gave up when local children mistook them for clowns.
An excited Gavin waits for the postman
In an embarrassing climb down, the English Defence League announced that their “England for the English” policy will be modified to include members’ mail-order brides from Asia and Eastern Europe.
“We will still seek to vigorously protect our airports and seaports from an influx of Asians and Eastern Europeans, but we will turn a blind eye to the post” said EDL spokesmen Bernard Grout.
“I’m aware some people might think we have done a 360% turn and are therefore hypnotists” said Grout. “But our members have always been sex-starved loners first, and racists second.”