There is relief across the globe this morning as the UN has confirmed that the Elf on the Shelf is now subject to a global travel ban on the grounds that it is horribly creepy shite. Continue reading
Drone user Tim Trotman has hit back at villagers who assume he’s harassing them with his buzzing git machine as part of an art project.
“People keep asking me when they can see the final thing and what it’s all supposed to mean,” a visibly frustrated Trotman told us. “I’m not a photographer or any kind of artist. I got the drone to annoy people and record their comings and goings for no reason other than that I can. I’m just a creepy arsehole and the village needs to accept this.”
Local police officer PC Flegg says that there’s nothing she can do to stop Trotman taking to the sky just to hack people off.
“There aren’t may laws against surveillance any more,” she said. “But to reassure everyone I’ll be monitoring Mr Trotman’s activities on the village’s extensive CCTV network and anyone who’s really worried about their privacy being eroded should tweet or Facebook about it.”
Today’s Weather: Belgium
"Way better than the Guardian" - Jeremy Corbyn
"Ha - this piece of wit contains a lot of truth" - Brian May.
THE REAL BRIAN MAY!!!
"I just love this paper.... site... web thingy. Makes my day, every day" - Phil Burfoot