Tag Archives: Carol Ann Duffy

Prison visitors protest as all books must now be smuggled in rectally


“Not the box set!”

After complaints from the literary establishment against the new policy of banning prison inmates from receiving books, protests have now spread to relatives of the prisoners, who have found to their discomfort that all reading material must be smuggled inside by the usual channels, specifically the rectum.

Anal contraband is a part of everyday prison life, but the items smuggled have usually been rather smaller than, say, a 759-page copy of the last Harry Potter novel, and relatives are finding themselves stretched as never before. Continue reading

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Filed under Crime, Culture

Harold remembers Seamus Heaney


Seamus Heaney: he had the sort of face that would make your nan say “he looks like a poet” and you’d know exactly what she meant.

Although his spirited reading of one of the more dramatic parts of Beowulf during the Harold International Arts Festival 2007 had such a profound effect on the more suggestible members of the audience that it triggered what has been referred to ever since as The Grendel Incident which resulted in several thousand pounds worth of property damage and the loss of at least one testicle, villagers are today remembering with fondness the poet Seamus Heaney who has died aged 74. Continue reading

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Filed under Around Harold, News