Waste land may be bought up by NCP.
Following the unearthing of a Roman Villa during a barn conversion job in Wiltshire, the archaeologists had another surprise when they dug up a mosaic floor and found Aston Villa underneath that.
“We knew they were on the verge of relegation,” said Dr David Roberts, an Historic England archaeologist, “but hadn’t quite appreciated just how low a team can go. This one was buried under a thick layer of alluvial sediment.”
Prepared for what?
Aston Villa will vote to leave the English Premier League in May unless other teams agree to concede a significant number of goals, according to their chairman Steven Hollis.
“We are serious about a May Axit from the EPL unless we get an improved deal from the other teams. We’re not talking one goal here, or two goals there, we need our opponents to concede at least 6 or 7 goals per game for us to remain competitive” said Mr Hollis.
“And a Steak Pie & chips my good man and make it snappy; the fourth quarter is about to start”
Well know sports enthusiast and part-time Prime Minister, David Cameron, has been discussing his ability to support multiple teams such as England, UK and GB “For instance, I’m a true-blue West Ham fan but that doesn’t stop me supporting Liverpool Rangers when they’re competing in the Eurasian Cup.”
The Prime Minister’s spokeman later clarified that in fact Mr Cameron is a Villa fan and must have suffered from Brain Fade when referring to his support for ‘The West Hamsters.
“I’ve supported Villa Rovers since I was a lad” said the old Etonian; “nothing like standing at The Shed end singing ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ to the world-famous recording by Freddie and the Dreamers.”
“Happy Days eh? Oh look, another spontaneous low-brow cultural reference! The Fonce was my absolute favourite, with his shaven head and lollipop sucking. ‘Who loves ya baby’ – I just loved that catchphrase.”