Donald Trump sacks himself


With no-one else left in the White House, former President Trump sacked himself this afternoon, he confirmed in a tweet.

“I just wasn’t feeling the chemistry anymore,” he said, after catching sight of himself in a mirror.

Cleaner Jose Mortimer has temporarily taken the reins.

“There’s no-one here at the moment,” he told Boris Johnson, “but if you’d like to leave a message, please do so after the beep. Beep.”

Political commentators worrying about a US power vacuum were immediately reassured by Mortimer.

“No problem,” he said, “I use a Riccar Premium Radiance.”

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