From 2018, all tar and stone chipping resurfacing will be paid for by the UK’s windscreen replacement businesses.
“We’re just formalising the setup that’s worked for years where, instead of government paying an extra £300 per day for a road roller, motorists happily sacrifice their cars’ bodywork and windscreens.” said Transport Secretary Chris Grayling, one of the few MPs who can make Iain Duncan Smith seem benevolent and competent.
“The clue is in the name ‘chippings’. That’s a joke, do you see? I’ve been told to smile more.”
A spokesman for the windscreen industry said the scheme would be good for business. “The current stone does break a lot of windscreens but it’s by no means guaranteed, so the government will use new diamond-hard chippings which increase breakages by 35%. It takes the uncertainty out of it.”