Yellow Pages to go entirely online: police mourn loss of vital confession tool

So many guilty looking types, so little time

Police across the UK are speaking of their sadness at the news that the Righteous Copper’s Friend aka the Yellow Pages will now be entirely online.

“It brings a tear to my eye,” said Harold’s entire police force PC Anita Flegg. “Since 1966 Ol’ Yeller has been a vital component in many a conviction. Beating the shit out of some nasty little scrote until they confess to everything from the Gunpowder Plot onwards won’t be the same when we’ve got to do it with a laptop.”

“At least every station still has some stairs for suspects to accidentally fall down. Even the ones that are built entirely on the ground floor.”

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