Recent newspaper polls reveal that a majority of royalists somehow think they should have a say in who next wears the giant diamond and gold hat.
“I’ve been a firm royalist ever since watching the Alf Garnett documentaries” said Harold’s Alec Fairchild, interviewed on behalf of the Daily Express. “Alf really knew his stuff and clearly explained the benefits of the monarchy. No, I can’t actually remember now.”
Fierce royalists have taken to social media in their droves, moaning that Prince Charles, the heir to the throne, shouldn’t inherit the hereditary throne.
Fairchild says the UK’s centuries old hereditary system gives certainty about the next head of state. “All royalists should get a vote on who becomes the next King though.” he said, with no hint of a smile. “Brits that is, not Kiwis or Aussies. We can’t let just any Tom, Dick, or Harry vote, especially Harry.”
In contrast, many from Harold think an idiot who’s first response to a tabloid commissioned questionnaire isn’t to roll it up and shove it where the sun don’t shine, shouldn’t even vote on The X Factor.