Recent newspaper polls reveal that a majority of royalists somehow think they should have a say in who next wears the giant diamond and gold hat.
“I’ve been a firm royalist ever since watching the Alf Garnett documentaries” said Alec Fairchild from Harold, who was interviewed on behalf of the Sun. “Alf really knew his stuff and clearly explained the benefits of the monarchy. No, I can’t remember now.”
Fierce royalists have taken to social media in their droves today, mostly moaning that Prince Charles, the heir to the throne, shouldn’t inherit the hereditary throne.
Fairchild believes the UK’s centuries old hereditary system gives certainty about the next head of state. “All royalists should get a vote on who becomes the next King though.” he said, without a trace of irony. “Brits that is, not Kiwis or Aussies. We can’t let just any Tom, Dick, or Harry have a vote, especially Harry.”
In contrast, many villagers think the kind of idiot who’s first response to a Sun questionnaire isn’t to roll it up and return it where the sun don’t shine, shouldn’t even get a vote on The X Factor.