“Bag for Life” expectancies in UK takes sharp fall

I often buy £10 bags, so I’m not expecting much for 10P

After Tesco announced yesterday that they will only sell Bags for Life at checkouts, new figures released show a sharp drop in life expectancies in the UK for a bag for life.

Whilst other nations on the continent enjoy much longer bag for life times, poor diet choices and obesity are being blamed for the drop in UK levels.

“The data shows us that in the north of England, a bag for life has a longer expectancy then the south” says retail analyst Rob Brooks.

The Mail Online stated this morning that this is due to benefit cheats and immigrants over using the UK bag resources, however Mr Brooks says there is a much simpler cause. “People in the commuter belt are responsible for over 90% of all Tesco and Asda bags sold, however they hate to be seen with them, preferring to re-use their Waitrose bags to show their relative situation in life”

Tesco say that once single use bags are stopped they expect pedal bin liner sales to rocket, and will continue to offer the sturdier single use bags as a retail purchase on the pet aisle under the brand ‘Bag for Shite’

Bags for Life were recently in the news following the recent death of London IT consultant Alisdair Charleston who was ironically killed after being suffocated by an avalanche of built up ‘bags for life’ in a kitchen cupboard.

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