World’s most angry and bigoted neighbourhood watch group run amok, the DUP, have stopped rolling around in all their magic money tree cash long enough to order the Prime Minister to radically change her holiday plans.
“Theresa May is currently in Italy, home of the Roman Catholic end of level boss Pope Francis” spat Arlene Forster. “This is a huge insult to me and my party as whole and so we demand that she atone by taking a nice quiet walk in Drumcree. Just her, her husband and several hundred of us and a massive brass band.”
The Office of the Prime Minister said that they did not negotiate with terrorists before quickly correcting themselves and apologising saying that when it comes to Northern Ireland old habits die hard.