May shocked by GE result. “Activists I spoke to all promised to vote Tory”

As Mrs May prepares to emote, an aide slices an onion, just off-camera

Theresa May says she’d been shocked by the general election result, as the activists, funders, and Daily Mail journalists she’d focussed her energies upon for the previous seven weeks all promised to vote Tory.

Glowing, uncritical, daily editorials and headlines such as “Mayggy, mayggie, mayggie! In in in!”, “Boot the scrufy marxist into touch!”, and “Should evil Corbyn be tried as a traitor?” had convinced the PM that not only was her campaign going well but that she was also on course for a crushing victory.

“If anything, I thought our public estimates had been conservative – small c, ha ha ha.” reflected Mrs May, with a sad smile “The newspapers, and feedback from the people I spoke to, all pointed to us winning between 620 and 640 seats.”

“I suppose some of them must have been lying.”

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Filed under Election 2017, Politics