After announcing that Jose Mourinho and Cristiano Ronaldo are being investigated for tax fraud, embarrassed Spanish officials have admitted that nobody in the country has actually paid any tax since 2010.
“We thought that we were a bit light on cash lately and when we dug into it we discovered that is because we haven’t collected any taxes at all in seven years, so we are now setting about rectifying this.” said a prosecutor, who reckons he hasn’t paid any tax himself since at least 2008 now he comes to think about it.
“It is an easy mistake to make. For example I distinctly remember that I was going to pay my taxes one day but it was a very hot day, so I decided to put it off until the next day. Then it appears to have completely slipped my mind for almost a decade.”
The error came to light after the tax fraud case against Lionel Messi resulted in a back payment of several million Euros from the Argentine star. When the Spanish government went to deposit this their bank informed them that the account marked “taxes” had been made dormant because it had not been used for several years.
The bank themselves haven’t paid any taxes either, but that’s ok because that’s what banks do.