Andrea Leadsom, the leader of the Commons, has announced that the Queen’s speech will not take place next year. “Our top priority now is infighting,” she told journalists. “This will require a substantial amount of time and begin with knifing Theresa May in the back.”
“Over the next two years we will be splitting into increasingly unhinged factions and working night and day to bring justice and opportunity to ourselves,” she said.
“Oh and there’s a thing called a “Brexit” happening too apparently but to be honest none of us have got a scooby on how to proceed with that so we’re going to stick to what we know and carry on double-crossing each other and shafting everyone else.”
“Unless, of course, Lord Rothermere and Mr Murdoch would like us to do otherwise.”