Mrs May has punished those to blame for the election debacle, by sacking the people she chose as her advisers.
“Nick and Fiona looked nice but behaved like thugs, which was a perfect fit for me, but they got it all wrong. What I need to know is, who advised me to hire them? Then I can sack them as well.”
“Clearly, calling the election was a mistake.” the PM went on, “The campaign was a shambles and the leader spoke with the charm of a child’s talking doll. Now, it’s wasn’t only Nick and Fiona. Someone else must also be to blame.”
“Working for me means owning up, when you get things wrong” said Mrs May “So if it was you, put your hand up now, or everyone will stay in for a week.”
The PM says weeding out the people to blame might take until August, definitely no later than Christmas.
“Once that’s done, I’ll give my full attention to the DUP’s sensible demands to ban catholics … or is that burn catholics? The writing is a bit shaky”.