Defiant attorney general Sally Yates claims that whilst she was neutral on her stance about travel restrictions for some Muslim nationals, the reason that she was sacked was purely footwear related.
“Trump insisted that I start to wear ugly 1970’s flat shoes, very unlike his usual preference to 6” heels, and when I tried one on, a weird blade shot out of the front of it.” Ms Yates told us. “Fashion aside, it’s hardly practical, so I politely declined to wear them, saying that they were uncomfortable on a few levels, at which point all he had to say to me was : “I’m very disappointed in you, number 3…” whatever the hell that means, I’m not sure why he was stroking that cat either.”
Ms Yates didn’t appear to be disappointed with her removal, continuing “After the confusion in the oval office about his understanding of the debriefing procedure, I’m glad to be out of there to be honest”
“Ultimately, I’m not too worried about Trump being a narcissistic megalomaniac” said Ms Yates, “Everyone knows real baddies have plummy English accents”
Meanwhile the debate continues in the UK as to whether the state visit invite should be upheld as the Queen practices her welcome “Ah, Mr Trump, I’ve been expecting you….”