As more famous people who everyone really liked die and obituary writers everywhere call in sick with exhaustion, a Kickstarter campaign has been launched to pay for the Grim Reaper to go on holiday so us mere mortals can have a break from miserableness.
“It seemed like the right thing to do,” said the villager behind the campaign, Carly Jeffery. “I don’t know what’s bringing me down more: people I thought were great dying or smug arseholes on social media telling everyone it’s wrong to be upset over the death of a celebrity when people are dying in Aleppo, then acting like they’ve thrown a hundred and one or more in six darts on Bully’s Morality Prize Board.”
“I reckon if everyone in Harold chucks in a few quid we can send Death off on a nice cruise and relax for a while,” she said. “Once we’ve moved Sir David Attenborough and Dame Judi Dench to a safe location that is.”