Lugubrious chronicler of the end times, Charlie Brooker, has announced that his yearly review of the news which is normally sixty minutes long will last more than a day in order to cover all the terrible things that have happened and that even with all the extra hours he’ll “have to leave a lot out.”
“It’s a nightmare,” Brooker said. “What to leave in, what to leave out: it’s all horrific. I’m looking over 2016 and when I’ve stopped wanting to hide under the bed I have to constantly quash the feeling that the only way to really sum it up is to dig a hole and scream into it while on one side the bore from the saloon bar in Hell tries to fill the hole with shit while on the other a bright orange walking sack of pussy and prejudice bellows about making holes great again as his minions pleasure themselves over a pile of dirty Klan hoods.”
“In short, it’s a bit of a bugger.”
Brooker also expressed regret that the show couldn’t go out live.
“Like most people I don’t trust 2016 an inch. I think it’ll contrive to end with a bang and a whimper. That’s just the sort of crap it would pull.”
2016 Wipe will be broadcast at the very end of the year. Assuming we’re all still here.