Waitrose essential olive oil in a suit, David Cameron, has confirmed that he’s having a lovely life and isn’t bothered about anything at all.
“Everything’s going so well,” George Osborne’s former enabler said. “I’m having such a nice time now I’m out of office. I did hear that apparently some people aren’t enjoying Brexit Britain, enemies of the people and so forth which does sound ghastly but happily I’m wealthy and well-connected and none of this is going to affect me or my family.”
“Do I have any sense of remorse or even consequence for my actions?” he pondered. “No, I don’t think so. That’s more for the little people. I prefer to chillax. None of this is my fault, you know. Big boys did it and ran away. Now excuse me, I think I’ll have a nice nap before Escape to the Country.”