Donald Trump has today announced that in order to “protect this great democracy from Crooked Hillary” he is flying the Florinese Brute Squad to the US at his own expense.
“This will make America great again!” Trump thundered. “King Humperdink is a swell guy, we’re very close unless he turns out to be a huge threat to global security and then I’ve never met him. He’s got this amazing Brute Squad in Florin City that go into the Thieves Quarter and prove that the long arm of the law usually has a rock at the end of it. I love these guys!”
The squad will sail from Florin City before stopping briefly in Guilder (diplomatic negotiations allowing) and there boarding Trump’s jet Hair Force One and flying to the United States.
“The corrupt media is already saying I’ll be using the Brute Squad to incite violence.” Trump said. “I am the least violent person you’ll ever meet in your life! They will simply be observing that voting is fair in certain districts. You know, the urban, hippty-hoppity ones. What? What did I say now?”
The Brute Squad will arrive in Washington DC early next week. A huge rise in sales of peanuts and ladies being said hello to is expected as a result.