The nation is being rent asunder by howls of outrage as people try to grasp the concept of watching a TV show on another channel.
“I just can’t do it,” said local Bake Off fan Jane Hough. “Switching to four instead of one, what fresh hell is this? That’s the whole thing ruined for me now. I won’t watch at all, it’s easier.”
“It’s too big a change,” complained cake enthusiast William McKean. “I think the government should intervene and force Channel 4 to give Bake Off back to the BBC. My human rights have been breached by this. I shouldn’t be forced to do extra thinking. I watch that show so I don’t have to think at all.”
Happily the other change to the show, the loss of Mel and Sue, has caused no distress whatsoever with most people agreeing that their replacements, a small pile of twigs and a stained charity shop teddy bear, will fill their roles seamlessly.