The 2016 Grand National at Aintree ended in a triumphant victory for Tesco’s processed meat department, after the majority of meaty contenders ended up swiftly converted into delicious burger and spaghetti meals.
Following last year’s controversy surrounding the use of horse meat in Tesco products, the supermarket refocussed its marketing spend on an aggressively healthy image, in which an active lifestyle is key.
To this end, Tesco is now keen to emphasise the sporting credentials of its meat sources, especially the man-eat-horse world of National Hunt racing over jumps. Especially races like the Grand National, where most horses die for our sporting pleasure like innocents thrown to lions in a Roman arena, only with more barbecue sauce.
This year’s Grand National saw a convincing victory for the highly-fancied Spicy Meatball (by Nugget out of Burger), with second place going to the much-improved Cottage Pie, who previously struggled over the fences.
Third place went to the tiring Slaughterman, well ahead of the rest of the field, all of whom were chopped up and eaten by hungry people in the winners’ enclosure.
“This is a real juicy tender triumph for us,” proclaimed Martin Fang of Tesco Meat. “We feel this is further justification for our new sporty meat direction, and really brings to life our new marketing slogan.”
“Tesco meat – Fresh as the moment when the leg went snap!”