Friend to dictators everywhere and queen of people’s hearts, Tony Blair, has claimed that he is baffled by the success of Jeremy Corbyn and Bernie Sanders.
“It makes no sense to me,” said the perma-tanned god botherer. “Neither of them are in politics to make as much money for themselves as they can and neither of them have a grasping wife who fills her boots to the very brim too. I mean, come on, what’s the point if you’re not out for everything you can get?” He went on to criticise Corbyn’s policies. “Free tuition fees: well, that’s great, but someone’s going to have pay for it. An end to war, but there are wars. Mainly because I start them.”
“Government is of the rich, by the rich, and for the rich. We can’t have these emotional socialists rocking the boat and going on about equality or freedom or whatever. Where’s the profit in that?”
Blair is now the co-Chair of the Centre for Strategic and International Studies Commission on Countering Violent Extremism.
The Chilcot Report is never coming out.