The UK has agreed to accept some more refugee children but only those who are photogenic, or otherwise ‘cute’.
“Ugly kids bring more sympathy, and frankly they stand out too much.” lied Theresa May “We were really looking for the better-looking, Caucasian types, if you will, ‘paler’ and with blue eyes if possible.”
The online selection process will take place early next month. Children have been invited to submit a full CV, handwritten in English, together with four recent photographs, permission slips signed by both parents and any three grandparents, and a non-refundable £250 fee.
“We’ve had a lot of interest in attractive young children” said the Home Secretary today, adding “Rotherham Council for instance will take as many as we can get.”
When pressed further on her decision to relax the rules, Mrs May explained “To be brutally honest, we were just waiting for Lord Jenner to die before we let the kids in.”