Tory MPs working on their end of year constituency newsletter have been warned by Number 10 that any mention of pigs will result in their resignation. A leaked document from the Cabinet Office states “…our party and the Prime Minister have made headlines for many good reasons such as [fill in later] and [well, I don’t know, has anyone checked Wikipedia?] so there’s no need to mention anything outside of this. Especially outside in the farmyard.”
“Anyone failing to comply with this directive will find themselves suddenly spending a lot more time with their families. Anyone who uses a picture of a pig will also find their expenses, their real expenses, all over the front page of the Telegraph.”
While no Tory MPs have spoken out against their new orders, Elizabeth Truss, Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs did say that she had some urgent editing to do.