A spokesman for Barclays said: “It is looking like FIFA may have had some dodgy dealings happening through their accounts for the last 25 years. That’s impressive in anyone books, and we know about dodgy books.
“We managed to get away with a bit of rate rigging for a few years, but a quarter of a century is world class and we can learn many lessons about not being caught.”
HSBC say they are looking into allegations of money laundering and are adamant that they thoroughly condemn the practice.
“If they have been doing this behind our backs they have acted totally immorally” a statement said.
“We prefer our customers to be upfront about their dodgy transactions. We don’t mind if we know, ask the Mexican drug lords.”