Home Secretary Theresa May has called on UK police to end a social media campaign against scaring children with threats of prison, pointing out that this is actually a key part of the Conservatives’ new law enforcement policy.
Durham Constabulary has published a poster on its Facebook page urging parents not to tell their children that if they refuse to eat dinner the police will take them to prison. The police believe that this will only instill a climate of fear and mistrust of the law from an early age.
However, the Home Secretary has pointed out that the proposed 2016 Law Enforcement, Juveniles (Dinner) Act will specifically make not finishing vegetables a criminal offence for children as young as five. “Five” referring here to days, of course.
“For too long these young miscreants have got away with their crimes on the flimsy excuse that a) they are children, and b) not eating vegetables isn’t a crime,” explained May. “This legislation puts an end to the loopholes.”
“Children should be taught from an early age that if they feel that they are in danger and need help, they can approach a police officer who will immediately arrest them.”
Facing claims that the move was harsh and tyrannical, the Home Secretary explained that the new law was only one part of a raft of harsh and tyrannical measures being introduced now the Lib Dems are out of the way, including the upcoming Cracks in Pavement (Bears) and Wee on Toilet Seat (Hanging) Acts.