Phil Evans, a farmer from a long line of dead people, claims to have discovered the remains of Evie Evans in a shallow grave behind his silage tanks.
“She’s all there”, revealed Evans. “And in surprisingly good condition, considering she must have buried herself after stamping on her own head around 2 years ago.”
Alive Evans and Deceased Evans have already begun their tour, on the top deck of the Number 63 bus. Using a ceremonial bus pass once thought to have belonged to the thin one, the couple were commented on all the way to Dunstable and back.
PC Flegg admitted she wasn’t sure if the tour was illegal, although she’s asked Phil Evans to stop claiming Evie’s state pension.
“A large IC1 male and a really skinny girl one were questioned by officers, but released after no sense could be made”, explained Flegg.
“We would encourage the public to refrain from making public transport smell any worse than normal, but on the positive side, that’s another missing person I can take off our records.”