His daring outfit, comprising a grey two-piece suit in a dark galactic grey teamed with a white shirt with unflattering blue vertical pinstripes and a burgundy tie, left the Daily Mail editor looking older than his years.
Although his outfit showed off none of the assets you come to expect in the Daily Mail, the lack of ‘cleavage’ and ‘side moob’ was more than compensated for by the hole at the top of his shirt exposing a right tit
To make things worse, he walked out of his front door with no make-up. A leading fashion expert who you probably haven’t heard of as we just asked a member of counter staff at H&M said: “It is a brave man that walks out of the house with his face looking like that, even if he is just popping to the shop, or putting out the bins.
“He should have made a bit of an effort, even if it was just a bit of moisturiser, a subtle application of eye shadow to hide the bags around his eyes, or some Polyfilla to fill in the cracks on his face.”
In another faux pas that would lead to heavy criticism in his own paper, the 66-year-old father of two who hasn’t owned a tanned and toned stomach in years had every button on his shirt done up, failing to give the teasing plunging neckline that guarantee a pride of place on their sidebar of shame.
Asked to comment on his appearance, Mr Dacre said he felt he was being judged unfairly and any comment about him should be based on his achievements in life and any talents that make him stand out from the crowd and not something as superficial as his clothes and appearance. We have aimed to rectify that in the next paragraph.
Paul Dacre is a dick.