Russell Brand has revealed that every single window of his advent calendar has been blessed with his own presence.
“And that’s one Christmas presence no-one would turn their nose up at”, beamed Brand. “‘Cos I’m chirpy, aint I? And that’s right Christmassy.”
Brand, the brains behind the Russell Brand-brand advent calendar, told us how he came up with the idea.
“Well, it was either me, or someone traditionally Christmas, like the lord baby Jesus”, he said.
“But no-one wants to open their window every morning and see a bearded no-it-all, doing preaches all about how to change the world and that.”
“If you ask me, that fella thought he was somewhat importanter than what he was. It’s what psychologists might call a ‘Russell Complex’.”
Russell Brand can’t wait until tomorrow to see a new image of himself. “Normally, I have to wait until the paper’s been”, he disclosed.
“But you know what? Christmas is a special time so you lot ought to be reminded of me before you’ve done a breakfast. I was only thinking of you when I done this.”
“And about me a little bit, if I’m honest. I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t; who can resist such an icon?”