Concerns over bankers’ bonuses were quickly quashed this morning as all of the five banks reassured customers the people responsible for huge fines for interest rate rigging would still be generously rewarded.
The collective fine of £2bn saw the public concerned that the often bashed bankers may have to forgo multi-million pound bonuses, but as Ross McEwan, Chief Executive of publicly owned RBS explained they have been punished enough.
“The bankers involved in this fraud have already had their names dragged through the mud,” he told us. “They may have provided the rope and the mud, but that’s irrelevant. Why should they suffer anymore?
“We know that the last thing the public want is to see them put in jail for their crimes, but we can go one better and promise not only they will get off pretty much scot-free but they will also be very well remunerated .”
The bankers involved in this criminal activity have apologised for this weeks’ little indiscretion and say they will try not to do things that would see normal people end up in front of a judge for at least one month.
We did try to get further comment from some of the other banks but a spokesman explained their was no time to address this problem as he was currently “arranging bailiffs to visit an old lady who owes the bank a tenner.”