There is a sense of quiet triumph in Harold this afternoon as villagers hail the success of their new solution to the growing problem of hacking.
“Every day some anonymous sod behind a keyboard somewhere says that they’ve hacked people’s phones or clouds and will now distribute the photos of their victims that show the most flesh,” Harold’s mayor Rufus D. Jackson explained. “So rather than waste time worrying about it we on the parish council worked out that if everyone took a naked selfie and everyone saw it then getting hacked wouldn’t be a worry and we can all get on with our lives.”
“It’s great,” said pensioner Doris Kettle. “These photos are the best art exhibition the village hall has ever had. Oh I didn’t care about people’s bodies but I loved having a nose at the bedrooms and bathrooms appearing in the background.”
“We’ve all had a bloody good gawp at each other now,” said Mayor Jackson. “And seen that we’re all basically the same, well apart from PC Flegg’s truly astonishing tattoo that is. So getting hacked holds no fear for Harold.”
“Of course at the moment having naked pictures stolen and distributed is mainly a Hollywood thing but these trends always trickle down. That’s why half the village has gone to Venice this weekend in the hope of marrying George Clooney.”