After a 50 year quest, scientists have finally unravelled the bizarre origins of Clowns.
Love them or fear them, with their bright red noses and funny fall down trousers, Clowns are woven into our society. Since the first recorded sighting of a Clown in 1954 they have multiplied exponentially in number, and can be found everywhere from children’s parties, to younger children’s parties.
Geneticists studying Clowns have confirmed they are one of the strangest abnormalities in the animal kingdom with the first complete analysis of its fully decoded genome.
They found that the Clowns’ genes are indeed an unusual deformity derived from the genes of Cosmetics Consultants (makeup counter assistants). “It’s probably the most eagerly awaited genome since the TOWIE genome” said Professor Monica Simon of Harold Natural History Museum, one of the co-authors of the study.
The analysis found that Clown’s share 98% of their genes with makeup counter girls. The 20 year project followed fresh faced 18 year old girls into their new careers, troweling, pasting, spraying and smearing smells and colours onto gullible female shoppers. As the years passed, the subjects began to apply more and more makeup to themselves. After around 5 years they began to resemble Kim Kadashian, after 10 years they reach the Nicki Minaj stage, approximately 15 years for Lady Gaga, and after 20 years the transformation to Ronald McDonald is complete.
We spoke to local make up dauber Melanie Delaney who only recently landed a part time job on the cosmetics counter in Harold’s family run department store ‘Pennywise’, “I wasn’t aware of the danger” she told us “but now that I think about it, I have become prone to exaggerated double takes, I fitted 8 friends in my Ford Ka last night, and my mum’s been telling me for years that my trousers fall down too easily…..or was that my knickers?”