A local parish church has been slammed for a ‘blatant attack’ on Islam after deciding to hold their annual fete during the month of Ramadan.
Professor Luke Thorne, chair of the Easily Offended on Behalf of Others Society said “I was astounded when I was told Harold parish church was holding their fete, complete with a barbeque and cake stall, during a period of religious observance when the consumption of food is not permitted during the hours of daylight.”
“This is a blatant attack on the sensibilities of the Muslim community in Harold and is tantamount to a declaration of war.”
In reply, the vicar played down accusations of the church being a hotbed of Christian radicalisation, “Oh dear,” said the Rev. Tansy Forster. “We’d hate to think we were offending anyone. Perhaps we should keep some cake and bacon rolls back for them to eat after sunset?
Local Muslim resident, Akram Behzad, said he had no problem with the Church’s congregation of mostly white elderly women, having secretly attended a service disguised as a Zimmer frame salesman.
“Although they sing radical songs encouraging each other to be Christian soldiers fighting the good fight, most of them struggle to fight their way to tea and biscuits in the church hall after the service,” he said.
“If they are the forefront of the Christian jihad, I don’t think we have too many worries.”