There was panic across the globe last night when Tony Blair slithered out from under his rock and demanded the chance to bring peace to Iraq.
“People say I did a bad job last time,” Blair said, “but that’s not true. What with the speaking engagements, consultancies and peace envoy duties I’ve gotten off the back of it I’ve made myself very rich indeed. Job well done say I.”
As desperate Iraqis flee the oncoming Isis forces we managed to get a few words with Malik Awad, a builder from Tikrit. “Please don’t let Tony Blair get involved,” he begged. “We’ve got enough religious nut cases of our own causing death and misery, we don’t need another one flying in.”
“Besides, why is the West still interested in Iraq? You’ve got shale gas now.”